With an attorney

What can I expect from divorce proceedings with an attorney?

If each ex-partner has its own attorney, these attorneys always seek consultation as a first option. Only when it appears that no mutual agreement can be reached will the court be asked to give an opinion on the remaining areas of dispute between the parties.

STEP 1: Initial meeting

During the initial meeting, the lawyer will discuss your wishes with you. What do you want to achieve? We explain your situation and what rights and obligations you have. Are your wishes feasible? We discuss possible strategies and talk about how to approach the case. We also consider any urgent issues and see how we can resolve these quickly. Finally, the costs of legal assistance and payment or reimbursement thereof will be discussed.

STEP 2: Negotiaton phase

We seek contact with the ex-partner in writing. If possible, we begin the consultation. The goal is to find a solution together. If this succeeds, then the agreements are written down in an agreement. By making agreements, we avoid lengthy, expensive procedures.

STEP 3: Going to court

Not able to work it out together? Then, with your permission, the lawyer will start legal proceedings.

STEP 4: The hearing

After each party has submitted its position to the court, the court schedules a hearing. You prepare the hearing with your lawyer and go to the courthouse together. During the hearing, attempts are often made to resolve the dispute between the parties. The judge typically nudges parties in the right direction. The agreements made are recorded in writing by the judge. If this approach does not work, the judge will make a ruling.

STEP 5: Court ruling

The judge makes a decision and this ruling is executed.

STEP 6: Making an appeal?

Is it necessary or possible to challenge the ruling? If so, this means that the lawyer will submit an appeal against the decision of the court.

The advantages

Sometimes an independent judgment is needed, for example, when a highly important matter or fundamental principles are concerned. Only once a judge has clarified this can the ex-partners proceed. Perhaps you have made various efforts to talk, but are unable to resolve the dispute. Or maybe your partner is not open to trying consultation in the first place. A judge can offer a solution by taking a final decision. The lawyer representing you is only there to protect your interests.

What can I do myself?

You can ask your consultation lawyer for a list of all the information needed for the divorce. Create a folder and begin gathering this information. The more information you can find ahead of time, the better your consultation lawyer can help you.

The parental plan contains your agreements about the children. Drawing up a parental plan is a precondition to getting a divorce. You can request a model parental plan from your mediator.


Your situation is already difficult enough with a divorce coming up. Experience shows that these tips will help you get through the separation process more easily.

Come prepared to the consultation. No matter how you approach it, divorce proceedings are costly. You pay a relatively high amount for something you thought would never happen to you and something you're not looking forward to. Be sure to have collected all of the information on the checklist provided by the lawyer. Having trouble finding some of the information? Of course, your lawyer can help you.

Look into your financial position after the divorce. What will your costs be? And your income? What tax allowances will you be entitled to after a divorce? What about child support, income dependent combination rebate, childcare allowance, etc. This will give you a little more certainty about your finances. The lawyer can of course assist you with this.

If you are struggling emotionally to process the divorce, don't wait to seek professional help. When you spend too much time in the grief or anger phase of the "grieving process", it can prevent you from finding the right approach to think about the future.

What can I prepare?

Request the ‘Uiteen Divorce Package’. For further information and tips for what you can prepare ahead of time.

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Want to know more?

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